"Cat Roulette:"

One thing: when you come here to Portland and I find out from you somehow/someway for whatever reason that I am in fact delusional and "basically nuts" due to my diagnosis in 1996 of schizophrenia, I will be sorely disappointed not only in myself... but also everybody I have ever met and have ever known and I will become a complete recluse in my own cave somewhere out where nobody is able to find me ever again... as long as I find a good home for my dog and the cat remaining out of the two cats that I have here now finds a good home with my help with no word to anyone as to the whys and wherefores of my actions or where I am going, which will probably be someplace akin to "under the bridge over I-95" where I will finally be able to catch up on much needed sleep and rest amidst the filth of homeless peoples' shit.